A plague swept through the TMBL household last week.
Yep, everyone (except Dog, who spent the week looking smug) was hacking, coughing and sneezing up a tremendous amount of bodily fluids.
It got so bad, I considered putting an ‘X’ on the door to warn the neighbourhood.
I should’ve expected it really. This time of year, when the seasons are changing and the temperature drops, is like spring break for nasty viruses.
Now that I’m over my flu, I thought I’d make a list.
As you might know, I love lists (10 home remedies that actually work, 10 things I learnt from the gym, five things you probably don’t know about Niagara Falls) and there’s nothing that eases the pain of imploding sinuses like a list (apart from, you know, actual medicine and a neti pot).
10 things you didn’t know about the common cold
1. The cold is the most infectious disease there is out there. The average adult apparently contracts 2 to 3 a year. I claim bragging rights – when I lived in Scotland I caught an impressive 4 to 6 a year. Go me.
2. After only 30 seconds of use, a handkerchief can contain up to 15,000 germs (I told you it was gonna get gross).
3. The Spanish Flu of 1918 killed 20-40 million people. And there was a severe decline in the tapas business. Which is a shame really cos that stuff is goooooooood.
4. In 1919 paranoia over the Spanish flu had reached hysterical proportions, and it became illegal for people to sneeze in the street. All the snifflers and coughers were rounded up and thrown in jail…so it probably wasn’t a good time to get your snuff on.
5. The average force of a sneeze is 103.6mph which is also technically considered hurricane-force winds. Therefore I propose renaming sneezes ‘tiny nose hurricanes’. It’ll catch on, honest.
6. It is impossible to sneeze in your sleep because your muscles are in a state of paralysis. You can however wake up to sneeze but your significant other might not be too happy (particularly if you’re lying face-to-face).
7. Athletes and body-builders catch more colds than ‘normal’ people. Scientists assume this is because their energy is used on performance, rather than building up their immunity. I dare you to call a body builder a big pansy though, definitely not advised.
8. Gorillas, chimps, orangutans and gibbons can catch colds. If you’re ever in the vicinity of a sneezing monkey, I’d run for cover as they can get very ornery.
9. The longest sneeze ever recorded belonged to the UK’s Donna Griffiths who, in 1981, sneezed for 978 days. Dear Lord, her nasal passages must’ve burned. My eyes are watering just thinking about it.
10. The whole chicken soup thing originated from 12th century rabbi Maimonedes who advised eating the ”soup from a fat hen”. Personally speaking, I find that eating the soup from a fat anything cures most ills.
Weigh in: Anyone else battling colds this time of year? What are your favourite remedies? Do you bravely work through it or hide beneath the duvet?